Dear Margaux, 3

blank that's what my mind is right now i don't know why but every time i think of you today my mind just goes blank like its shutting down like it doesn't wanna hurt anymore. why, is the only question i can ask, why does the pain that was so overwhelming now feel like a numb sensation like nothing is real. i can not understand i wanna feel cause i would rather feel the pain of the whole in my heart left in your absence than nothing at all i just cant grasp the idea cant wrap it around my head............................................wow just right now my first time alone all day i finally felt it all at once. all the pain that should have been felt throughout the day hit me with one big boom of force. i love you Margaux more than anyone or anything in this world well about as much as i love the women who gave me life my mother cause without her i would not be here and who i am today and neither would you. my mother, your grandma is the most amazing women i have ever met. she is strong and hardworking, she has taught me so much. if it wasn't for her i don't think i could have been as strong as i was and i guess still am to make the decision i did for you she makes me want to do better in life just as much as you do.i hope to be that person for you in some way some day of course  that is Rob & Kate's job your mom and dad but i hope to be someone you can look up to and respect just as much as love and respect my mother. so ill try to keep going and do the best i can. but i love you and miss you Margaux.

MUCH LOVE
BIOLOGICAL MOMMY
RACHEL

See you when i see you BY: Jason Aldean

Let's don't say goodbye
I hate the way it sounds
So, if you don't mind
Let's just say for now

See you when I see you
Another place, some other time
If I ever get down your way
Or you're ever up around mine
We'll laugh about the old days
And catch up on the new
Yeah, I'll see you when I see you
And I hope its some day soon

God made this ol' world round
And maybe its that way so the paths we go down
Yeah, I will cross again some day
Some day I'll

See you when I see you
Another place, some other time
If I ever get down your way
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/jason-aldean-lyrics/see-you-when-i-see-you-lyrics.html .]
Or you're ever up around mine
We'll laugh about the old days
And catch up on the new
Yeah, I'll see you when I see you
And I hope its some day real soon

I hope its some day soon

I'll see you when I see you
Another place, some other time
If I ever get down your way
Or you're ever up around mine, just stop by
We'll laugh about the old days
And catch up on the new
Yeah, I'll see you when I see you, 
'til then my prayers are with you
And I hope its some day soon

I'll see you when I see you

Dear Margaux, 2

when pain is felt from a loss, people say it will fade and you will think about that person less and less, but it has not, because everyday i think more and more about you. the pain is sometimes overwhelming. saturday someone asked your name so i told them that when i named you it was Viridiana Marie but now your name is Margaux Violet. they asked me why i changed it and so i told them that i didnt the adpotive family did and they called me a horrible mother that i should never give up my child and that was the hardest thing to take because i love you more than you will ever know or begin to understand and that is why i did what i did but after he said that i couldnt hold my tears in any longer i couldnt put a smile on my face and pretend i was happy anymore i bursted into tears the worst of it was is that i couldnt control it no matter how hard i try to be strong and hold my head up high i will always crash as a wave does after it hits its highest point it falls, crashes to the shore to go back and repeat the cycle. in life there are choices to make and i will always know in my heart i made the right one but i will always feel the bittersweet feeling behind the choice and i will always remember your beautiful face from the moment you picked your head opened your eyes and looked at me from across the room you gave me hope something and someone to believe in no one has ever sturred something like that in me ever. so you were my savior my angel sent from God in all his grace you were my mirical and rob and kates too also there beautiful family that you are now apart of. you are always in my heart and mind and my familys too....i shouldnt say just my family they are yours to forever and always my little baby girl i love you with all my heart i hope you always know and are able to one day understand that this is why i did this why you have others who love you just as much as i do taking care of you it was because i wanted us to both be able to grow and thrive in spite of what life has handed us and to live eachday to the fullest and never give up because life is so precious and you taught me that with out speaking or being able to communicate much you taught me what i have been trying to learn for 5 years you are the greatest gift to me and it means so much that i will be able to be around and watch you grow over time and im hoping to see you soon i love you my little angel and miss you every moment of everyday for the rest of my life 

MUCH LOVE

BIOLOGICAL MOMMY

RACHEL

Dear Margaux

You are the light leading my life even in my darkest hours you shine a light so bright it would rival the sun. to see you smile to see you thrive makes everyday that I'm pushing and working my hardest worth it cause without you i would be no one, nothing to look up to you will always be my motivation to strive for the best. From the moment i knew you were inside me, march 1st 2011 i will never forget. Everyday i wake up and smile knowing your safe and loved. Even though i wish and long to hold you and stare into your beautiful face, i know this was a for the best. We both can live and thrive, no one will be struggling...well not to say i don't struggle everyday of my life with the pain of not having you here but i will live on and i will thrive because that is what i was meant to do, so Margaux my little baby girl i love you and miss you with all my heart. 

Biological Mommy

Rachel 

i love you and am missing you with all my heart

Dream Baby Dream By: Rachel Marrs To: Margaux Violet

Dream Baby Dream
Of a rainbow after a stom
Dream Baby Dream
Of the vast open seas
Dream Baby Dream
Dream Baby Dream
Dream of the color of the autum leaves
Dream of the new grown buds on the trees
Dream Baby Dream
Dream Baby Dream
Drea of the stars at midnight
or clear blue sky
Dream of the birds that fly
Dream Baby Dream
Dream Baby Dream

Close your eyes
And sleep for a little while
Darlin dont you cry
I'm here
Here to wipe your tears
Here to chase your fears
So close your eyes
And Dream Baby Dream

Dream of the sun warmin your face
or wind through your hair
Dream of the sound of the rain
against the window pane
Dream Baby Dream
Dream Baby Dream

Close your eyes
And sleep for a little while
Darlin dont you cry
I'm here
Here to wipe your tears
Here to chase your fears
So close your eyes
And Dream Baby Dream

Dream Baby Dream
Dream of love
Dream of laughter
Dream of hope
Dream of faith
Dream Baby Dream

Close your eyes
And sleep for a little while
Darlin dont you cry
I'm here
Here to wipe your tear
Here to chase your fears
So close your eyes
And Dream Baby Dream
Dream Baby Dream
Dream Baby Dream
Dream Baby Dream